Well, it’s official…. My husband has managed to be out of town for every single snow storm over the last 5 years. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! How on earth did I draw the short straw? I would love to say that I’m building character and perseverance; but in reality, I’m only building biceps and a better winter wardrobe to accommodate sub-zero temperatures. I’ve blown snow, shoveled snow, and now swept snow!
Yes, you heard me right…”swept” snow. Ironically, I saw Roxanne DePalma on air for a Garden Event with a broom. In a passing moment, she said I could “even sweep snow.” (I did a little internal snort in disbelief.) But I really like Roxanne and have enjoyed everything else she’s brought to the Q, so I picked one up anyway--- I figured if nothing else, I’d use it once we’d thawed out. This past weekend, I had to opportunity to test drive it and was blown away at how efficient it was at getting all the powdery snow off the walkway and steps! So as a note for all of you shoveling away, this broom works wonders and I highly suggest checking it out!
In addition to no Hubby at home, Nana and I had 3 children, 2 Chesapeake Bay Retrievers and 3 cats all cozied in…. and BORED…. For 5 days! Needless to say, we had a few “moments.” We ran out of movies and activities waaaay before we ran out of hours in the day.
Where shall I start??? How about with Biggest Little deciding to cut the dog’s hair…. So, I’ve just come in from shoveling and am sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. In pounces Jonah (one of the dogs). I look and then look again. Jonah is naked. In walks Biggest Little… beaming I might add. “Mom, look what I did for you… I gave Jonah a haircut. Isn’t he handsome.”
Me: Uh, No. No he’s not handsome… he’s cold. It’s below zero. We don’t groom the dogs in the winter for a reason.
Little: Seriously Mom, I was trying to do something nice. You have to admit I did a good job.
Jonah: Tail down and looking sheepish…. He knows he looks a mess
Me: Wait, wait, wait…. Where and with WHAT did you shave the dog???
Little: Oh, don’t worry, I thought ahead about the mess; so I put the dog in your bathtub and used Dad’s electric shaver.
--To say that I lost all blood flow and color in that instant would be putting the situation mildly—
I get up and start the ascent to my bathroom to assess the situation. And, Yes, Biggest Little had actually placed a 65 pound dog (with 65 pound course dog hair) into my Jacuzzi tub and shaved him. There were hair balls everywhere. At this point, I am counting to 100 in my brain. I’ve started deep meditative breaths; and am thinking of ways not to self- destruct.
Little: See, mom, I told you I took care of it. There isn’t any hair on the floor. It’s all in the bathtub. I was able to wash most of it down the drain.” --she was so proud of herself.
She had NO clue that she had quite possibly ruined the bathtub and clogged our already half frozen pipes. I called the plumber. He told me to start with a drain cleaner because I was too far down the list with the snow storm for a house call. Thankfully, I had extra packets of the Green Gobbler in the garage. Under normal circumstances, I would only use one packet. Today called for two; and I was ready with a third if need be. Fortunately, it only took two packets and all of us lived to tell the tale. Although, Hubby did need a new electric shaver as his was now toast.
Movies, I thought….movies are safe! Surely, I can put on a movie and let the Littles eat popcorn. I figured this would give me 2 hours to get some things done around the house----keep in mind that I still have to go to work. So I download the Lord of the Rings trilogy from Netflix and start the search for microwave popcorn. BIG score, not only did I find Microwave Butter popcorn; but I also found Microwave kettle corn. I get each one their own bowl, a water bottle, and a down throw. I’m feeling like Mom of the Moment….Life is perfect….. for about 20 minutes.
From my office, I can hear the boisterous cacophony of sound billowing down the hall. At 7, 9, and 14; surely they can work out amongst themselves whatever is askew, right?!?!? So I wait and listen. It becomes immensely clear that there are no less than 3 conversations occurring at once---with each one pleading his/her case.
***"Volume’s too loud." "No it’s not loud enough." "Turn the Bose Solo on."
"Mom said not past Volume 19." "You got more popcorn than me." "How come I didn’t get a bigger blanket?" "Did you get juice, I only have water?"***
These were all sounding very normal-ish for sibling rivalry, right? What actually got me out of my chair was Littlest Little’s voice rising above the others; and as I walked into the room, I discovered that the voice was accompanied by one hand on a hip and the other wagging in the direction of the older two….. “I am NOT waiting until Summer Time, either you tell me now, or I’m telling Mom.”
I should interject that by this time of the day, I’ve turned Deep Sighing into an Olympic Sport; with a close second going to Extra Ocular Activity--- and at that exact moment, I was sure they rolled back far enough to get stuck in my brain.
Upon seeing me enter the room, each Little began pleading his/her case at the same time.
Biggest: Littlest asks too many questions and we keep missing the movie
Middle (the peacemaker and rule follower): I told them about Volume 19.
Littlest: I don’t know what Gollum says and how am I supposed to know if I should be scared or not if I have to wait until summer time for them to explain it.
We are now all looking blankly at Littlest, who has a history of making no sense at all. “Start from the beginning , please,” I say.
Littlest: It’s just like I told you, I don’t know what Gollum is saying and those two, said they would explain it in summer time….
Biggest: Noooo. We-did- not- say “summer time.” We said “some other time.” We said we would explain it to you some other time!
*** More sighing. More extra ocular activity***
At this point, wer're only on day 2 of 5, and I am more than ready for everyone to head back to school and work 
. I don’t think I can stand one more minute of this so-called “rest and relaxation” at home!
I will have to keep you posted on any new activity around the house. I'm hoping that the weather warms up soon before the next dog (or quite possibly next family member) undergoes an impulse hair cut courtesy of Biggest Little. PLEASE feel free to share any and all remedies you might have for children suffering from snowed in boredom, as I'm sure you've either lived through it once or at least doing so now!