“My husband put a poll on Facebook to see how long it would take me to cry.”
That’s how my speech at the Helpusadopt.org Nieman Marcus fundraiser started.
“I don’t think even he expected it would be before I got us to speak.”
True, I was crying before CEO Becky Fawcett even said my name. In the few minutes before my part of the program Becky explained helpusadopt.org and its success at helping people adopt by easing the financial burden, and in turn, placing children in loving homes. It’s a process that costs on average thirty thousand dollars or more.
Becky Fawcett and Me at the event
That’s not what started the early water works. It wasn’t even when she asked the question “who will love these children if no one can afford it? Who will buy them new shoes, hold them when they hurt and teach them they have worth?” It was when I looked around at the room of two hundred men and women and saw so many familiar QVC guests and hosts and strangers silently holding back tears.
My role in the night was emcee. I not only had to tell me story but I had to sit up in front with Becky and narrate the spring fashion show. It was an honor to be asked; since adoption is so close to my heart. So in theory it was easy to be there and tell my story and talk about clothes which I do every day on national TV. Well not that easy. I had to actually get through telling my story without breaking down completely. Here is how the rest of my speech went…..
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*Already crying
“People always ask me how I could have left San Diego, Ca to move back to the suburbs of Philadelphia. In fact, you have probably thought the same thing. I did live in paradise. Despite the fact that QVC is a dream job, it’s hard to leave the beach and family. I truly believe it was so I could be right where I am now. The Lord put me here, so that I could not only help raise funds for helpusadopt.org but so that I could tell my story and ease the pain of other women who have suffered through miscarriage, infertility and difficult adoptions. The Lord knew I needed to be in the right company. QVC believes in women’s real relationships and I don’t think there is a more real relationship than one between a mother and her child. QVC has allowed me, and in fact encouraged me, to tell my story and be a part of creating that relationship.
My story in not pretty. It’s a happy ending but it was ugly and hard and painful.”
*More crying
“My husband and I tried to get pregnant in our mid twenties. And it didn’t really work. I am still amazed that I can walk into a room like this and look around and most of you can just have sex and make babies. We really couldn’t do that. We did get pregnant once and had a miscarriage. After that it was years of infertility treatments, failed attempts, doctors, and tens of thousands of dollars. It was the darkest period of my life. I lost three years. I lived under an evil cloud and cried more than I smiled. It nearly broke me.
We always considered adoption and were very open to it but we knew it would come with its own emotional component and huge bill. We signed up with a “less expensive” agency and hoped to save some money. In the end it cost nearly 40 thousand dollars. We couldn’t have afforded it without help.
I remember getting a very big check and a note from my mother in law that said “there will be a baby this year.””
*now sobbing ugly cries.
“We couldn’t have done it without help. That check helped make me a mom. It saved my life. It brought me out of the dark. But it didn’t just save my husband and me. It saved our daughter and her birth mom as well. This is just my opinion, this is how I feel; our birth mom wanted another option. She tried to abort our baby twice and that last time someone talked to her about adoption. Our 40 thousand dollars bought her another option and it bought my daughter a life. To me, that is money well spent. I would do it again in a second.
But people like me around the country don’t have a mother in law that can write a check. That’s where helpusadopt.org comes in. They are the only Non profit organization in the country that gives grants, up to 15 thousand dollars, to help adoptive parents regardless of sex, age, religion, race…they don’t even charge an application fee. This is an organization that saves children and saves dads and saves moms like me, and I can’t think of a better reason for being in the suburbs of Philadelphia. If I can pay it forward just a little, and help create families I am right where I am supposed to be.”
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I made it through the speech, barely. I cried some really ugly tears but I also had a dozen teary women come up to me after and tell me how my story touched them. I saw one well know show guest that you may see on TV often, crying her eyes out while I was up there. I got through it because in the end I helped raise more than 40 thousand dollars for adoption that night. And I hope that is just the beginning. I was also supported by QVC. They donated money to the organization and our CEO even came to the event with his family (nothing like talking about sex and crying your eyes out in front of your boss.)
Maybe the biggest support for me of all was my two friends and sisters in adoption Rachel Boesing and Mary Beth Roe being in the audience. You probably know of my close friendship with Rachel, who is adopted, but I also have a strong bond with Mary Beth. Mary Beth is a mother I look up to. She is the woman who taught me everything I know about working at QVC. She brought me in and trained me more than a year and a half ago and since then she has been a dear friend and encouragement to me daily. Looking at her in the audience and getting a smile and a look that said “I did good,” was all I needed that night. I am so grateful to both my girls.
And I am thankful to so many of you who went on my Facebook page and encouraged me and told me your stories. I hope my story can help other women know they are not alone, and bring more families together through adoption.
Blessings,
Kerstin Lindquist
Read more of Kerstin’s Story in her previous blogs and on her facebook page www.facebook.com/kerstinlindquistqvc and on twitter: https://twitter.com/KerstinLindQVC