You know how parents always say, “You’ll never experience love like love for your child”? They’re right, totally and completely. You think it’s a comforting sentiment, told to make you feel more comfortable with your growing belly and to calm your expectant mother nerves. It may be, but it’s also the truth, and on May 8th of last year, I had my first child, Ashvin. Since then, life has not been the same. Reflecting back on my first year as a mother is surreal, partly because my eleven month old son wears size 3T, and partly because so much has happened that it seems impossible that it could all fit in less than 365 days.
Since day one, I’ve been sucked into something my husband and I refer to as the "Baby Channel”. We just can't stop looking at him. His first smiles (at 2 months), his nonstop giggles, and his endless curiosity keep us entertained. At eight months, he learned how to clap in a music class, and he’s woken us up nightly to humor us with his skills.
It hasn’t been easy. Ashvin has had "accidents" on a fancy white silk chair at a friend's home, on my sister's bed and pretty much everywhere in our house. In January, we checked in for our first family getaway to Mexico, only to realize that I in fact had forgotten to get him a passport and we couldn't get on the flight :( Luckily, we exchanged our tickets for Puerto Rico. Crisis averted, right? Nope. I mistakenly checked his diaper bag and spent the flight shoving airport bathroom paper hand towels in his diaper to keep it dry. Better yet, my laundry skills have been tested in a big way, given that Ashvin thinks every meal is a food fight.
photo credit: Jean Song/Shoptiques.com
I could not and would not have been able to do any of this alone. It has taken a village to raise our child this first year. Between me working and traveling and my husband doing the same, I have been unbelievably grateful for the diaper changes, baths, help and support I have gotten from my spouse, mother, father and in-laws. They have been there to fill in the gaps and keep our son laughing every day.
At the end of the day, though, the fiascos are overwhelmingly outweighed by the immeasurable joys of motherhood. Ashvin’s birth cemented the realization that my husband, my son and myself are a family. I will never get over the feeling of my son falling asleep against my chest. I have learned to appreciate the love and guidance of my own parents as I see myself mirroring their techniques. I used to fight like crazy with my mom over her insistence on healthy food. Now, I steam and puree everything myself to make sure my son has the healthiest options. I am continually inspired by how happy my baby seems to be at any and every point in time. I joke that I want a “refund”, because Ashvin has all of my husband’s looks and none of mine (and hey, I did all the work!), but of course, there’s nothing in the world I’d change.
Here's to looking toward another year of motherhood. What are some of your favorite moments as a mother?