This week I'm preparing for our family vacation next week - but this trip is going to be bittersweet.
We're first headed to Alaska where my mom now lives in a home that specializes in the care of those with dementia and Alzheimer's Disease. My mother is now transitioning into Alzheimer's. Some days she recognizes my sister, nieces and their families - some days she doesn't.
I've been trying to prepare my 7 year old daughter Theresa --- Explaining that her Grandma Connie may remember her one day and not the next - but that she loves her very much. Theresa reassures me that she understands and that Grandma could be fine --- but that she'll pray for her to be healthy. It melts my heart. I know that at 7 years old - she doesn't understand this completely. How do I explain my moms condition to her - so she's truly prepared?
I'm actually nervous to see how just how much has changed with my mom since seeing her last summer. I'm sad and happy to see her - but I knew we needed to get to get before she gets worse - and create memories with Theresa.
A little background on my mom ... she was tough ... really tough growing up. She'd never smile for a photo, would take 3 hours to get ready to even go to the grocery store --- and she'd be furious to know that she'd be in the condition she is now.
With that said...this illness has made my mom sweet, innocent, happy and she smiles for photos all the time. It's been a complete transformation...but occasionally the mom we knew sneaks out in her personality.
My sister Beverly is a true Super Hero. She had been taking care of my mom for the last few years. (Mom is also a Diabetic, in Heart Failure and now Kidney Failure.) During that time my Brother in Law became ill - and my sister had been caring for both of them (and honestly, neglecting her own health.). As my brother in law's condition became more serious and my mom's health declined - the only option was to place her in a skilled home to care for her around the clock. Her residency was changed from New Mexico to Alaska - so luckily she was accepted right away. We discussed her coming to Pennsylvania or Florida (where my sister lives in the winter) - but there were large waiting lists and she wouldn't be a state resident.
I can't wait to see the place where my mom lives. It's a private home with just a few residents. My sister worked with Alzheimer's patients before and knew the woman who started this home. My mom loves it there.
My sister, nieces and their children go to visit - and take my mom to art classes - that apparently she loves (she NEVER would have done art before!)! The health care providers love her and say she's always happy. However, she can't leave the house as much because it takes her days to readjust. She occasionally thinks she's back home in Albuquerque and asks to get back to her room before it's too dark outside.
She's also starting to have issues with "Sundowning". It's a term that after looking it up - really saddened me. Definition: "The term "sundowning" refers to a state of confusion at the end of the day and into the night. Sundowning can cause a variety of behaviors, such as confusion, anxiety, aggression or ignoring directions. Sundowning can also lead to pacing or wandering."
I also worry if Alzheimer's Disease is in my future - and if my daughter will be going through this with me when I'm older OR if she'll have this disease. We don't know if my grandparents would have had it - unfortunately both died from accidents. Or if it started from a bad fall my mom had (she blacked out and went face first into her cement sidewalk.).
The good news is that we'll be spending our 10th Wedding Anniversary with my mom and family. Eating New Mexican food - and spending quality time together. Then we head to Hawaii to reunite with my old staff friends from when I lived there. It will be Jim & Theresa's first trip there and my first return in 14 years - very excited.
Thank you for any advice you may have for me - and my daughter - and my family!
Best wishes and blessings,
Jacque :)
You can always find me on my Facebook page directly at www.facebook.com/jacqueqvc (since I cannot reply directly on this blog!)